07 October 2005

knitting is fine by me

so if i've been chatting with you over the past few months, you know i have become an insane knitter. i simply cannot be stopped. to this end, i attended several knitting events today, those being "knit out" (a sort of festival for all knitters in union square), and a men's knitting night downtown (currently entitled "dicks with sticks"). this is all well and good, however the really amusing part happened on the way home. on the bus. to sidetrack here for a moment, i personally believe little people to be harbingers of good fortune. now, this has nothing to do with people of diminutive status per se, but i have noticed an extremely strong and perhaps mathematically provable correlation between my personal sightings of little people and bizarre events in my life. tonight i saw three. so i'm on the bus, and decide to continue knitting my current project. it's coming along nicely and i'm quite excited about it. and then some other people hop on the bus and sit down near me. BeerSwiller and his LadyFriend. in case the code names were not descriptive enough, BS has decided that budweiser (in cans) is the beverage of choice for busgoers. your humble narrator does not necessarily look down on such behavior. so, i'm happily knitting when BS and LF sit down next to me on the back bench. apparently LF had been having some foot troubles, and BS had to massage them. this was abhorrent, but i try to focus on my task at hand. BS has been sputtering nonsense since he's entered the bus, and was showing no signs of stopping, despite LF's apparently weariness. so then other people get on, and the back of the bus is becoming rather crowded. i continue with my craft. i notice that a young gentleman not too far away from me is beginning to look rather uncomfortable, and keeps looking in my direction. at this point, i find it advisable to remove one of my headphones. i hear BS concluding, "...fucked up the ass. i just want things to be alright for you and me." at this point, i realize he is most likely a ragining homophobe who may or may not tend towards violence. i banked on the latter, and removed my other earphone. then i stared at him. now i'm not one for confrontation. but i am not a tiny man. standing well over six foot and weighing in over 200 pounds (i'm actually quite thin, it's well spread out) i like to think that i pose a rather formidable persona. if you haven't met me, at least. so i decided since we were in the confines of a mobile public place i'd probably fare alright. and i stared some more. immediately, he flushed. then turned to continue prattling on at LF, "not that there's anything wrong with knitting. knitting is a great way to improve your coordination. and you can make some really nice things by knitting. not that i'll ever start knitting. but knitting is fine by me..." luckily the next stop was mine. so i turned and smiled before i disembarked. ah, to be a fly on the wall to find out where that conversation went when it continued. hopefully i'll never find out.


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